Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Pain

It hurts. Every time I really think about what has gone on behind my back. It raises questions, it makes me get this knot in my stomach to where I feel I have to swallow to keep the bile from rising up my throat. It makes me wonder if my whole marriage has been a lie or a sham. I know people make mistakes, but what did I do to deserves these mistakes.
I love my husband...maybe I didn't show it enough, maybe I didn't do his laundry right, or cook the right dinner.
Maybe I didn't make him happy or try hard enough to ask if he was happy. I guess I just got caught up in this busy crazy life and didn't see everything very clear.
Maybe the warning signs were right in front of my face, or maybe he was so slick and I didn't notice.
It's just not fair. It makes me cry and I still have to keep it together for the boys.
I will work it out on the inside because I owe it to myself and if he wants to work it out for us I guess that is a decision he has to make.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Beach Date

P and I have been having some problems. Nothing major, we fight and banter about ridiculous things. Why he didn't pick his laundry off the floor, or why I didn't do the dishes (at Midnight) Crazy minor stuff really. In all of this I think we both might have overlooked how blessed we are. We have two amazing and beautiful little boys and we have each other. Both of us can honestly count on the other 100% of the time. We have made it this far and we are going to go ALL the way. This commitment we made was forever, and we will make it forever because we love each other problems or no problems.

We decided to take a day trip to OBX just the two of us, my mom kept the boys (thanks Mom!!) and we really did enjoy most of the day. We didn't know NC didn't sell alcohol until noon, but we didn't let it damper our spirits it was just a slight breakfast fail...but we moved on and headed to the beach, when it was noon we went and got beer.

Later in the afternoon, I had this great idea to go Kayaking (WORST IDEA EVER.) We fought the whole way there, because we got lost, it was literally in the middle of freaking no where. Once we got in the damn double kayak we continued to fight because P decided we should do alligator river, and Bob our damn tour guide kept going on and on about how big the "gators" in this river could be. I was like in a full blown panic attack and absolutely use-less as far a kayaking buddy. We made it though. I didn't get eaten by an alligator either.

On the way home, it seemed way quicker than actually drive down there, I think that actually happens all the time though. I felt like I had been away from the boys FOREVER, I was so glad to see them! They enjoyed their time with their Mimi too.