Forever changed

We are two separate people living in the same house. We don't talk, we don't touch, we hardly communicate unless it pertains to the boys. We are in the process of trying to figure out living situations, but he and I alike are stubborn. He doesn't believe that I should stay in the house, and I of course believe the complete opposite. That is our house, my boys house and just because he doesn't want to play house doesn't mean the boys and I should have the call it quits. We love that house, and it's our home...The boys have a yellow playroom, and they feel safe and comfortable there. I do believe this will end badly and this will no longer be our home, I pray it all works out.

A Lucky girl

Everyone goes through things...Everyone has events that make them who they are; with that being said look at this picture.

Even on my worst of days, and lets be completely honest...I've had a lot of bad days lately. I am one of the luckiest girls in the world! I have these two beautiful boys to wake up to and if that's not enough then I get to  have dance parties and go to the pool and the beach along side them.

So their dad doesn't love me, is that my fault? No, it's not I was a damn good wife, of course I had my flaws...doesn't everyone? But the man had a place to call home, a homemade meal to come home to after a long day at work and school, and clean clothes. I supported him in school, and helped him pursue his dreams for his future. Am I bitter or angry? Not one bit, I have them, and for N & E  I am eternally grateful.

Today

My life...who would have know that it would change like this?! My best friend, my husband, the father of my children is and has been sleeping on the couch...like it's his bedroom, and honestly it looks like he is completely okay with that.
He doesn't understand why I can't "Just get over it..."
Well here's an idea bud, you took my life, shook it like a holy hell storm, and then dumped it upside down and said hey now you can clean up the mess.
Everything I thought was mine, everything I thought was my life, was nothing but a sham and a lie...so forgive me if I can't just "get over it."

The ship has sailed

I have made up my mind. I deserve a thousand times better and one day I will get that. Until that day I wait, patiently. I have my boys who give me a reason everyday to wake with a smile and push through my day. I only cry because he will miss out on their lives. E's first steps, and N's great days at school. He will miss out on family pizza night and trips to the zoo. He thought he could have his cake and eat it too. But you can't have a girlfriend, a pregnant one and a life at home with a wife and two little boys. As I type this I have been packing his belongings all morning. He is set to move out tomorrow. To where he goes I don't know.